I have heard over and over again that "being Catholic is counter-cultural." As someone who was born and raised Catholic, grew up with mostly Catholic family members and friends, I suppose I never quite understood what this meant. But if you refer back to my first post, you'll recall that I wasn't the faithful Catholic that I should have been. Everything was still safe and I still lived within the bounds of the American, materialistic way of life. Probably my most "counter-cultural" experiences were the looks I got for "dirt on my forehead" on Ash Wednesday.
I claimed to know Jesus. I claimed to love Jesus. But it felt safe. Something wasn't right.
If the world hate you, know ye, that it hath hated me before you. If you had been of the world, the world would love its own: but because you are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world, therefore the world hateth you. John 15:18-19
Christianity (especially Catholicism) is not easy because it is, in fact, counter-cultural. The times have changed a lot in 2000 years, but the Church has not. She has not watered down her teachings to fit modern advancements or ideals. There are so many things that the Church teaches that seem opposite of what the world preaches. Love your enemies and those who wrong you? Save sex for marriage? Don't use contraception? Dress and speak modestly? Embrace suffering?
Do these sound like ideas of the modern world? Of course not. The ideas of society and culture focus around the body and seek the things of this earth. Has anyone stopped to notice that first-world countries have more [food, water, money, shelter, comforts, medicine, entertainment, etc etc] than poor countries, but we are increasingly unhappy? 100 years ago, little girls found great enjoyment from making paper dolls and boys found great enjoyment in playing with sticks. A parent now would be laughed out of town, and possibly even questioned, for giving their child a paper doll or a stick for Christmas. Instead, they get all the latest electronics and everything else they could want. Why are they not as happy now? With so many ways to keep in touch with people, why are there so many more divorces and families that break apart? Why are there unhappy people who have good-paying jobs, food, a house, and a car?
The list can go on and on. The point is that the world and things of this world cannot make us truly happy, despite what our culture says. In my quest to seek God more, this was probably the hardest idea to confront and has continually been the hardest to overcome. It is not easy. I'm not saying that it is easy. All of us struggle with it. But, again, John 15:18-19.
This may make some people run away at this point. It's another result of our culture. If something is hard, just move onto something else. If something takes great time and effort, it's probably better to find a more efficient and quick way to reach the same end. But that is not the life of a Christian. It is hard, but it is worth it. There is more joy to be felt in the soul than our bodies could ever feel. This was another idea that I struggled with because I had never allowed my soul to feel true happiness. I couldn't connect with the people who preached that the joy of the soul was greater than the joy of the body. What did that even mean? How could they possibly be different? But of course I couldn't understand. I hardly acknowledged the existence of my soul, let alone fed it. My concern was always with myself. Watching TV always seemed much more appealing than reading the Bible or a religious book. Getting enough sleep always sounded better than praying before bed, or waking up early to pray. Eating was better than fasting. Running from difficult and emotional situations was always better than facing them and working through them. Being a bystander is easier than getting in the game. It's easier to cheer other people on, on their quest to God, than it is to jump in the race yourself.
It is hard, but it is worth it. I write this today, inspired by the joy in my heart. It's almost inexplicable. I feel wrapped in the Lord's Love. The world and time seemed to spin by without my knowing it. If you haven't heard it before, know that it is true, that the Holy Spirit is in all of us. At this moment, the Holy Spirit seemed nestled in me, like a baby in a mother's arms. No TV show, food, house, vacation, or pair of shoes could ever make me feel in such a way. When you turn to God, He runs to embrace you. He gives you times and moments like these to sustain you. His is a greater Love than the love from your friends, significant other, and family. It took me a long time to realize this, but I have now. I would rather have been left in the darkness today and given up that ecstasy I felt so that others might feel it. Those who are lost or lukewwarm. Those who speak of Jesus but don't feel of Jesus. Those who question the existence of something so Good. I am praying for you, and I think of you constantly. My brothers and sisters in Christ who know not the unconditional Love of God, or who have forgotten.
Consider the journey back to Him. If He still seems so intangible, read up on the lives of the saints. These were humans who also faced the hatred of the world in order to love God. Pray to our Blessed Mother, Mary. Because Christ is our Brother, Mary is our Mother. Sometimes it's easier to run to the sweet, loving arms of a mother before running to dad. I promise She will pray earnestly for you, and gently bring you to Her Son.
Small steps are okay. That has been my experience. It's been so hard to look at the things I knew as "life," the things that are so accepted by our society. It took a long time and a lot of mental struggle between what the world said was okay and why the Church said it was wrong. I fought the Church on a lot of issues because I was stubborn in my ways. I thought she was "old and out of touch" which is an argument I still hear very much. But in my "small steps" to see why she taught what she did, things started to click. There is a way to live your life with a sense of peace and joy. The Church preserves this way of life and the means to attain it, even through all of the cultural changes of the past, present, and into the future. You just have to decide what is your god. Money? Fasion and trends? Sex and contraception? Alcohol? Always looking for a "good time" and the next great adventure? Or the One, True, Loving, Almighty, and Eternal God?
So we know and believe the love God has for us. God is love, and he who abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him. 1 John 4:16
God love you.
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