Amazing what?

Grace.

I'll be honest. For most of my life, I had no idea what grace was. I don't even really remember talking about it growing up. Maybe I remember a little from high school. But I definitely couldn't have told you what it was. I know that this sounds all-too-familiar for cradle Catholics who grew up not really knowing or authentically practicing their faith. It's no wonder why I thought I didn't need to confess my sins, or pray, or feel the need for the Sacraments, especially the Eucharist. "For men will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, inhuman, implacable, slanderers, profligates, fierce, haters of good, treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, holding the form of religion but denying the power of it." (2 Timothy 3:2-5)

That segment of the verse describes my upbringing! Yep, I went to Mass sometimes, made the Sign of the Cross, did the sit/stand/kneel and went through the motions, had a cross in my bedroom, prayed when things got tough, but in almost everything I did, I just held onto the form of Catholicism, but denied the power of it. That power, being grace. 

Sometimes the grace got through all the walls I built up. I can only imagine how many times in my life I said something like, "I have no idea how I made it through that," or "I didn't think I could do it." I'm not talking about rather superficial things like finishing an exam or fixing something, but times of suffering and enduring. Times where I was so sad I thought I could drown in my sorrows; grace got me through. The times where it seemed like every door was closing on me and my life was crumbling in; grace got me through. The times I was frozen in fear; grace got me through. No matter how many times I tried to shut God out of my life, He still loves me more than I can fathom and as a loving Father, He still reaches out to me in any ways that He can.

But for much of my life, I lived without sanctifying or saving grace offered by Christ through His Bride, the Church. Thanks be to God, He gave me more time in my life to turn things around and return to a state of grace. I did, though, cut myself off of this saving grace through my sins. My own choices. I refused the graces, or help, that God was offering me to overcome my temptations, and I fell. Have you ever known someone with bad habits or lifestyles and you wished they would change? Have you ever pleaded with someone to not light that cigarette, or not have another drink? How upset and disappointed were you when they smoked again or drank again? The wounds that we inflict upon His Sacred Heart by our sins are nothing compared to the disappointment we feel in our loved ones.This is like God's offer of sanctifying grace to us, followed by our rejection of it, on a small scale.  Because He has the greatest capacity to love, He also has the greatest capacity to be hurt when we reject His saving help.

Once I began to have a knowledge and awareness of grace, the more I saw it in my life. It's literally everywhere. Constant. Like the air around me... all I have to do is breathe. But I need extra help to heed Jesus' call to "be perfect, just as your Heavenly Father is perfect" (Matt 5:48). My heart swells with gratitude for the Church and her Sacraments, which are visible signs of invisible graces. The most important and life-altering thing I did in my "re-version" was to go to the Sacrament of Reconciliation. By confessing my sins in the confessional, I acknowledged all the times that I sinned, refused God's grace, and damaged my relationship with Him and His Body, the Church. I confessed bad habits and unholy tendencies I had, and through the Sacrament, received the graces to overcome most of them--to this I can attest! The confessional was like a gate to the greatest source of graces: the Eucharist. The Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity of our Lord, Himself! Being in a state of grace, I could receive the Eucharist worthily. Remember what St. Paul says:

For I received from the Lord what I also handed on to you, that the Lord Jesus, on the night he was handed over, took bread, and, after he had given thanks, broke it and said, “This is my body that is for you. Do this in remembrance of me.” In the same way also the cup, after supper, saying, “This cup is the new covenant in my blood. Do this, as often as you drink it, in remembrance of me.” For as often as you eat this bread and drink the cup, you proclaim the death of the Lord until he comes.

Therefore whoever eats the bread or drinks the cup of the Lord unworthily will have to answer for the body and blood of the Lord. A person should examine himself, and so eat the bread and drink the cup. For anyone who eats and drinks without discerning the body, eats and drinks judgment on himself. That is why many among you are ill and infirm, and a considerable number are dying. (1 Corinthians 11:23-30)

The graces from the Eucharist are transforming my life all the time because I try hard to be open to them. Jesus told St. Faustina, "When I come to a human heart in Holy Communion, My hands are full of all kinds of graces which I want to give to the soul. But souls do not even pay attention to Me; they leave Me to Myself and busy themselves with other things. ... They treat Me as a dead object" (Diary of St. Faustina, 1385).

Reading that passage during my "re-version" process really made me stop and think, "What is grace?" and, "Is the Eucharist even important in my life?" My journey really took off from those questions, and now He is changing my life from the answers I sought. I pray for other cradle Catholics with similar experiences as mine, who can say, "I don't know what grace is," or, "I don't make it to Mass every week," which means, "I don't know what the Eucharist is." The Church offers every bit of help that we could possibly need to know, love, and serve Him and become the perfected lovers that we are called to be! Turn to her! I will be praying for you. Please pray for me too.

.

What is a smile?

What is a smile? Is it not a physical manifestation of an internal emotion of joy and happiness? Without the smile, we would not be able to understand the invisible emotions.

What is a hug or a kiss? Is it not a physical showing of love? Words fall helplessly short when trying to tell someone that you love them, so we resort to the physical world. How else can you explain love? How can you show it? How can you relay the invisible feelings you have within you?

What does it mean when someone dances? I mean really, unabashedly dances, with eyes closed and no musical rhythm guiding their steps. Is it not a physical manifestation of a deep, fully-alive feeling, and bursting joy? Haven't you ever been so happy that you can't say it, you can't write it, you can't express it other than your pure, shameless dance?

Why do I ask these questions?

My point is that there are many things--emotions, thoughts, feelings, etc--that are purely human which are inexpressible and indescribable without the physical world. Our faces and bodies are physical tools that we use to express those invisible mysteries that we all hold within us. This is how humans were designed by God, to use the physical world to reveal (although it's impossible to do so completely) that which is invisible, indescribable, and mysterious.

God Himself is the greatest Mystery. Because He knows how He made us, physically-dependent creatures, He made Himself into the physical. God's Word, which had never been seen and hardly understood, became Flesh for us to see, hear, and touch. Jesus, the Incarnation (Word made Flesh), came to us to bridge the gap between the purely physical and purely mysterious, between man and God.

"In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God...And the Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us, and we saw his glory, the glory as of the Father’s only Son, full of grace and truth." John 1:1,14

Through Jesus' parables, He related our physical world that we are familiar with, to greater mysteries, like Heaven, Hell, repentance, and receiving grace. Through Jesus' healing miracles, he showed us that our physical bodies are curable, but so are our souls! And how much greater it is to heal the eternal soul!

God did not just play to our physical senses only once in the Incarnation. Jesus left His Apostles with commandments and ways to continue to manifest the invisible, spiritual, mysterious world in our physical world. Of course, Christ's greatest gift to us is the Eucharist, His Flesh and Blood, which are "true food" and "true drink" (John 6). These simple foods, when infused with the Holy Spirit, become our spiritual food for everlasting life. Through communion with the Body of Christ, we become part of the Body, His Mystical Bride, which we see physically as the Church.

Aside from the Eucharist, Christ also gave His Apostles the ability for forgive sins. "Whose sins you forgive are forgiven them, and whose sins you retain are retained” (John 20:23). Again, God knows how He made us. We should use this physical world to relate our sins, to show remorse for them through penance, and most importantly, we need to hear the words, "You are forgiven." Thus, He instituted the Sacrament of Reconciliation. After spending years of just trying to ask for forgiveness through silent prayer, and never being sure of that forgiveness, I can tell you that one trip to the Confessional does what a million years of silent plea for forgiveness cannot do. I know that through the Sacrament, I received that grace of forgiveness and grace to help me where I need it. We are human and understand best through physical manifestation.

Christ gave us so much more through His foundation of the Church on St. Peter and the Apostles. The Catholic Church has so much symbolism, so much physical manifestation of the mysteries of God, it may well be impossible to know it all even down to the little things. But the seven Sacraments, in particular (two of which I just mentioned) are great gifts to us, because through simple, physical things, we can better grasp the eternal mystery. Water is just water but when we use it to mark our faith with the Name of the most Holy Trinity, we are given the invisible grace of becoming a child of God!

Do a little research sometime and you'll find that everything in the Catholic Church has some sort of meaning or parallel to that invisible truth which is hard to grasp. We don't just do or have things "just because." Christ's Bride is so rich with these physical manifestations, that we are just so blessed to be ever-surrounded! The more you discover, the more you will fall in love with this faith, and the more you fall in love with this faith, the more you will fall in love with Christ. Loving the faith and loving Christ is an uninterrupted circle, because as a married couple become united as one, so Christ and His Bride the Church are One. To love one is to love the other.



Reflections on The Last Supper from Fulton Sheen

I just love the way that Venerable Fulton Sheen has with words. This is an excellent reflection of the Last Supper from his book, "Life of Christ." It's a relatively short chapter, of 7 book pages, so for the sake of soaking it all up, I would encourage you to read the whole thing. If you're pressed for time, feel free just to read the parts that I highlighted in bold.

I pray that this brings you into a deeper understanding and union with Christ at the Last Supper, that you may prepare your heart and soul for Good Friday. Many people attended Ash Wednesday services and wandered with Jesus through the desert of Lent. Let us now bring ourselves closer to Him in His final days. Many of his disciples were with Him throughout His ministry, but abandoned Him in His final days. Do not be like those disciples, I pray. Meditate on these events. Fast on Good Friday to empty yourself and make room for Him. I promise you, Easter Sunday will be the most fulfilling if you sacrifice and fast in the final days. There can be no celebration of the Resurrection without the celebration of the Death, and there can be no Easter without a Good Friday.


The Last Supper

Some things in life are too beautiful to be forgotten, but there can also be something in death that is too beautiful to be forgotten. Hence a Memorial Day, to recall the sacrifices of soldiers for the preservation of freedom of their country. Freedom is not an heirloom, but a life. Once received, it does not continue to exist without effort, like an old painting. As life must be nourished, defended, and preserved; so freedom must be repurchased in each generation. Soldiers, however, were not born to die; death on a battlefield was an interruption to their summons to live. But unlike all others, Our Blessed Lord came into this world to die. Even at His birth, His Mother was reminded that He came to die. Never before did any mother in the world see death wrap its skeleton arms so quickly about an Infant Birth.

When he was still only an Infant, the old man Simeon looked into the face of Him Who turned back eternity and was made young, and said that He was destined to be a "sign to be contradicted," or a signal that would call out the opposition of the deliberately imperfect. The mother, on hearing that word "contradicted," could almost see Simeon's arms fade and the arms of the Cross take their place to enfold Him in death. Before two years of His life had been lived, King Herod sent out horsemen pounding like thunderbolts, and with swords flashing like lightning, in an attempt to decapitate His Infant Head, not yet strong enough to bear the weight of a crown!

Since Our Divine Lord came to die, it was fitting that there be a Memorial of His death! Since He was God, as well as man, and since He never spoke of His death without speaking of His Resurrection, should He not Himself institute the precise Memorial of His own death and not leave it to the chance recollection of men? And that is exactly what He did the night of the Last Supper. Our Memorial Day was not instituted by soldiers who foresaw their death. But HIs Memorial was instituted, and this is important, not because He would die like a soldier and be buried, but because He would live again after the Resurrection. His Memorial would be the fulfillment of the Law and the prophets; it would be one in which there would be a Lamb sacrificed, not to commemorate political freedom, but spiritual freedom; above all, it would be a Memorial of a New Covenant.

A Covenant or Testament is an agreement or compact or alliance, and in Scripture it means one between God and man. At the Last Supper, Our Lord would speak of the New Testament or Covenant, which is best understood in relation to the Old. The Covenant that God made with Israel as a nation was done through Moses as the mediator. It was sealed with blood, because blood was considered as a sign of life; those who mixed their blood or plunged their hands into the same blood were thought to have a common spirit. In the Covenants between God and Israel, God promised blessings if Israel remained faithful. Among the principal phases of the Old Covenant were the one with Abraham with a guarantee of progeny, the one with David and the promise of kingship, and the one with Moses in which God showed His power and love to Israel by delivering them from bondage to Egypt and promising that Israel would be for Him a kingdom of priests. When the Hebrews were in bondage in Egypt, Moses received instructions for a new rite.

After the plagues, God struck the Egyptians further to prompt the release of His people by smiting the firstborn in each Egyptian house. The Israelites were to save themselves by offering a lamb, then dipping some hyssop in the blood, and marking their doorways with blood. The angel of God seeing the blood would pass by. The Lamb was therefore the Pesach or the Passover of the destroying angel, that is, a "pass" which secured safety. God then ordered its continuation year after year.

This institution of the slain Paschal Lamb mentioned in Exodus was followed by the implementation of the Covenant with Moses in which God made Israel a nation; it was the birth of the Israelites as the chosen people of God. The Covenant was concluded by various sacrifices. Moses erected an altar with twelve pillars. Taking the blood of the sacrifice, he poured one half of it on the altar, and the other half on the twelve tribes and the people with the words:

Here is the blood of the Covenant which the Lord makes with you. Exodus 24:8

By pouring out blood on the altar, which symbolized God or one party to the Covenant, and by sprinkling blood on the twelve tribes and people, which represented the other party, both were made partakers of the same blood and brought into a kind of sacramental union.

This Covenant or Testament with Israel was meant to be perfected through a more complete revelation on the part of God. The prophets later on said that the exile of the Israelites was a punishment because they had broken the Covenant; but as they were restored to the Old Covenant, so would there be a New Covenant or Testament which would include all nations. The Lord speaking through Jeremias told the people:

This is the Covenant I will grant the people of Israel, when that time comes. I will implant My law in their innermost thoughts, engrave it in their hearts. Jeremias 31:33

The Last Supper and the Crucifixion took place during the Passover, when the Eternal Son of the Father mediated a New Testament or Covenant, as the Old Testament or Covenant was mediated through Moses. As Moses ratified the Old Testament with the blood of animals, so Christ now ratified the New Testament with His own Blood, He Who is the true Pascal Lamb.

This is My Blood, of the New Testament. Matthew 26:28

The Hour of His exaltation having come, for within less than twenty-four hours He would surrender Himself, He gathered His twelve Apostles about Him. In one sublime act He interpreted the meaning of His death. He declared that He was marking the beginning of the New Testament or Covenant ratified by His sacrificial death. The whole Mosaic and pre-Messianic system of sacrifice was thus superseded and fulfilled. No created fire came down to devour the life that was offered to the Father, as it did in the Old Testament, for the fire would be the glory of His Resurrection and the flames of Pentecost.

Since His death was the reason of His coming, He now instituted for HIs Apostles and posterity a Memorial Action of HIs Redemption, which He promised when He said that He was the Bread of Life.

He took bread and blessed it and broke it, and gave it to them saying, This is My Body, given for you. Luke 22:19

He did not say, "This represents or symbolizes My Body," but He said, "This is My Body"--a Body that would be broken in His passion.

Then taking wine into His Hands, He said:

Drink, all of you, of this; For this is My Blood of the New Testament, shed for many, to the remission of sins. Matthew 26:28

His coming death on the following afternoon was set before them in a symbolic or unbloody manner. On the Cross, He would die by the separation of His Blood from His Body. Hence He did not consecrate the bread and wine together, but separately, to show forth the manner of His death by the separation of Body and Blood. In this act, Our Lord was what He would be on the Cross the next day: both Priest and Victim. In the Old Testament and among pagans, the victim, such as a goat or a sheep, was apart from the priest who offered it. In this Eucharistic action and on the Cross, He, the Priest, offered Himself; therefore He was also the Victim. Thus would be fulfilled the words of the prophet Malachias:

No corner of the world, from sun's rise to sun's setting, where the renown of Me is not heard among the Gentiles, where sacrifice is not done, and pure offering made in My honor; so revered is My name, says the Lord of Hosts, there among the Gentiles. Malachias 1:11

Next came the Divine command to prolong the Memorial of HIs death:

Do this for a commemoration of Me. Luke 22:19

Repeat! Renew! Prolong through the centuries the sacrifice offered for the sins of the world!

Why did Our Blessed Lord use bread and wine as the elements of this Memorial? First of all, because no two substances in nature better symbolize unity than bread and wine. As bread is made from a multiplicity of grains of wheat, and wine is made from a multiplicity of grapes, so the many who believe are one in Christ. Second, no two substances in nature have to suffer more to become what they are than bread and wine. Wheat has to pass through the rigors of winter, be ground beneath the Calvary of a mill, and then subjected to purging fire before it can become bread. Grapes in their turn must be subjected to the Gethsemane of a wine press and have their life crushed from them to become wine. Thus do they symbolize the Passion and Sufferings of Christ, and the condition of Salvation, for Our Lord said unless we die to ourselves we cannot live in Him. A third reason is that there are no two substance s in nature which have more traditionally nourished man than bread and wine. In brining these elements to the altar, men are equivalently bringing themselves. When bread and wine are taken or consumed, they are changed into man's body and blood. But when He took bread and wine, He changed them into Himself.

But because Our Lord's Memorial was not instituted by His disciples but by Him, and because He could not be conquered by death, but would rise again in newness of life, He willed that as He now looked forward to His redemptive death on the Cross, so all the Christian ages, until the consummation of the world, should look back to the Cross. In order that they would not re-enact the Memorial out of whim or fancy, He gave the command to commemorate and announce His redemptive death until He came again! What He asked His Apostles to do was to set forth in the future this Memorial of His Passion, death and Resurrection. What He did looked forward to the Cross; what they did, and which has continued ever since in the Mass, was to look back to His redemptive death. Thus would they, as St. Paul said, "announce the death of the Lord until He came" to judge the world. He broke the bread to set forth the breaking of His own human Body and also to show that He was a Victim by His own free will. He broke it by voluntary surrender, before the executioners would break it by their voluntary cruelty.

When the Apostles and the Church later on would repeat that Memorial, the Christ, who was born of Mary and suffered under Pontius Pilate, would be glorified in heaven. That Holy Thursday Our Lord had given to them not another sacrifice than His unique Redemptive Act on the Cross; but He gave a new manner of Presence. It would not be a new sacrifice, for there is only one; He gave a new presence of that unique sacrifice. In the Last Supper, Our Lord acted independently of His Apostles in presenting His sacrifice under the appearances of bread and wine. After His Resurrection and Ascension and in obedience to the Divine command, Christ would offer His sacrifice to His Heavenly Father through them or depending on them. Whenever that sacrifice of Christ is memorialized in the Church, there is an application to a new moment in time and a new presence in space of the unique sacrifice of Christ Who is now in glory. In obeying His mandate, His followers would be representing in an unbloody manner that which He presented to His Father in the bloody sacrifice of Calvary.

After changing the bread into His Body and the wine into His Blood:

He gave it to them. Mark 14:22

By that communion they were made one with Crist, to be offered with Him, in Him, and by Him. All love craves unity. As the highest peak of love in the human order is the unity of husband and wife in the flesh, so the highest unity in the Divine order is the unity of the soul and Christ in communion. When the Apostles, and the Church later on, would obey Our Lord's words to renew the Memorial and to eat and drink of Him, the Body and Blood would not be that of the Physical Christ then before them, but that of the glorified Christ in heaven Who continually makes intercession for sinners. The Salvation of the Cross, being sovereign and eternal, is thus applied and actualized in the course of time by the heavenly Christ.

When our Lord, after He changed the bread and wine to His Body and Blood, told His Apostles to eat and drink, He was doing for the soul of man what food and drink do for the body. Unless the plants sacrifice themselves to being plucked up from the roots, they cannot nourish or commune with man. The sacrifice of what is lowest must precede communion with what is higher. First His death was mystically represented; then communion followed. The lower is transformed into the higher; chemicals into plants; plants into animals; chemicals, plants, and animals into man; and man into Christ by communion. The followers of Buddha derive no strength from his life but only from his writings. The writings of Christianity are nota s important as the life of Christ, Who living in glory, now pours forth on His followers the benefits of His sacrifice.

The one note that kept ringing through His life was His death and glory. It was for that that He came primarily. Hence the night before HIs death, He gave to His Apostles something which on dying no one else could ever give, namely, Himself. Only Divine wisdom could have conceived such a Memorial! Humans, left to themselves, might have spoiled the drama of His Redemption. They might have done two things with His death which would have fallen so short of the Way of Divinity. They might have regarded  His redemptive death as a drama presented once in history like the assassination of Lincoln. In that case, it would have been only an incident, not a Redemption--the tragic end of a man, not the Salvation of humanity. Regrettably, this is the way so many look upon the Cross of Christ, forgetting His Resurrection and the pouring-out of the merits of His Cross in the Memorial Action He ordered and commanded. In such a case, His death would be only like a national Memorial Day and nothing more.

Or they might have regarded it as a drama which was played only once, but one which ought so often to be recalled only through meditating on its details. In this case, they would go back and read the accounts of the drama critics who lived at the time, namely, Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John. This would be only a literary recall of His death, as Plato records the death of Socrates, and would have made the death of Our Lord no different from the death of any man.

Our Lord never told anyone to write about His Redemption, but He did tell His Apostles to renew it, apply it, commemorate it, prolong it by obeying His orders given at the Last Supper. He wanted the great drama of Calvary to be played not once, but for every age of His own choosing. He wanted men not to be readers about His Redemption, but actors in it, offering up their body and blood with HIs in the re-enactment of Calvary, saying with Him, "This is my body and this is my blood"; dying to their lower natures to live to grace; saying that they cared not for the appearance or species of their lives such as their family relationships, jobs, duties, physical appearance, or talents, but that their intellects, their wills, their substance--all that they truly were--would be changed into Christ; that the Heavenly Father looking down on them would see them in His Son, see their sacrifices massed in His sacrifice, their mortifications incorporated with His death, so that eventually they might share in His glory.

Wax and Mud

We are all born as wax, and throughout our lives, our inner-most being remains wax. But through life, through our thoughts, through our actions, through our sins, we build mud around that wax. When we stop praying, when we stop feeling, when we stop hoping, we build mud around that wax.

 

“The same sun shines upon mud that shines upon wax. It hardens the mud but softens the wax. The difference is not in the sun, but in that upon which it shines.”

-Venerable Fulton Sheen

 

I remember as a young child, being the wax. I remember the awe and wonder of life around me. I remember my child-like faith, innocently talking to my Creator, never lost for hope of Everlasting Life. I was wax, I was softened by His Light, and I relished in it.

 

Then as I got older… middle school, junior high, high school… I started building mud around my wax. My prayer life suffered. The world was no longer a magical place that was full of life and hope. My defiant teenage ways led me to sin. The more I sinned, the more mud I built, the harder I became. My relationship with Him was no longer the same. There were holes in the mud, and from time-to-time, I would feel the warmth of the melting of my wax, but the mud grew.

 

I felt choked by the mud. I could barely see through the window of my soul because it was so dirty and hard. I couldn’t see clearly. The world was dark and frightening. Despair was easy. Love (agape) was hard to find. Christ was distant.

 

But perhaps through the prayers of others, through the prayers of the saints and angels, perhaps through the somewhat frequent reception of His most precious Body and Blood, those precious holes remained in my thick mud. Through grace, His Light shined through these small holes, and He made me love it. I couldn’t deny the warmth and the bliss. Slowly, I wanted more. Slowly, the Light shined brighter through the mud, and I wanted to know Him as I never have before. I wanted to be wax again. I could not get rid of the mud on my own, despite my attempts; I could only get rid of it through the Sacrament of Reconciliation. I told the priest, though I was truly speaking to Jesus, about all of the mud. I told him how that pile of mud got there, and how I threw that chunk of mud on top, and so on and so on. And with each confession, Jesus removed that mud. With His grace conferred through the Sacrament, I became wax again. I remember the moment that I felt like wax, and the joy brought me to tears.

 

 

Now I bask in His Light. The sun (Son) shines on me brightly, and I melt under His Love. My wax is thick, so I regularly remove the mud and keep His Light on me so that it penetrates deeper and deeper with time. I feel it, and I know it to be true. It’s as if I’m looking through a new pair of glasses and I’m seeing the world anew. I see the beauty, the love, the hope, the purpose. I see God’s work in creation and I see Christ’s Spirit in others. The deeper His Light penetrates my wax, the more I can see this, and the easier it becomes. I see, understand, the purpose and beauty in suffering; and this, too, becomes clearer and more manageable with time.

 

I will no longer listen to the voice of the hardened world, telling me not to be so “naïve” and to get back to “reality.” That is the way of the world, of the mud-covered, of the hardened. That is not the way of child-like faith. There is wonder and beauty in everything. There is no need to fear when God is in control and when you place your trust in Him. There is only pure love, pure joy, and pure hope when you uncover your wax and embrace the Light.

 

 

The sound of my lover! here he comes

springing across the mountains,

leaping across the hills.

 

My lover is like a gazelle or a young stag.

See! He is standing behind our wall,

gazing through the windows,

peering through the lattices.

 

My lover speaks and says to me,

“Arise, my friend, my beautiful one, and come!

 

For see, the winter is past,

the rains are over and gone.

 

The flowers appear on the earth,

the time of pruning the vines has come,

and the song of the turtledove is heard in our land.

 

The fig tree puts forth its figs,

and the vines, in bloom, give forth fragrance.

Arise, my friend, my beautiful one, and come!

 

My dove in the clefts of the rock,

in the secret recesses of the cliff,

Let me see your face,

let me hear your voice,

For your voice is sweet,

and your face is lovely.”

 

Catch us the foxes, the little foxes

that damage the vineyards; for our vineyards are in bloom!

 

My lover belongs to me and I to him;

he feeds among the lilies.

 

Until the day grows cool and the shadows flee,

roam, my lover,

Like a gazelle or a young stag

upon the rugged mountains.

 

Song of Songs 2:8-17

Why Adoration?

Why would we choose to go to Adoration? What makes it so special? Why is it any different than just praying at home, or even in an empty church or chapel?

 

 

Well that big, gold thing holds the answer.. literally. That “gold thing” is called a monstrance (from the Latin word “monstrare” which means “to show”). So, based on its name, this monstrance is showing something, but what? Well, in the middle of the monstrance is a glass circle, and visible through the little window is a consecrated host, the Eucharist--literally the flesh of Christ.

 

So when we go to Adoration, we literally are sitting in the presence of Christ’s true Flesh, His true Spirit sitting there, gazing upon us as we gaze upon Him. Truly seeing Him, and not just a picture or a statue. Christ is always around us in Spirit, but He is the Incarnation: He is the Word made Flesh. When we sit in Adoration, God isn’t just with us in Spirit, but He is with us in Body, too.

 

Sometimes it’s so hard to comprehend, because when you look at it, on the surface it just looks like a piece of bread. And it is. It does retain its physical properties of bread, but after it has been consecrated and inundated with the Holy Spirit, it becomes the flesh of Christ. Just like if you cut down an oak tree to make a table, it still retains its properties of being oak wood, but now it is a table. Or if you find a seashell and make it into a Christmas ornament (which I have done!), it is still a seashell, but now it has become an ornament. Same, too, for what we see is still bread, but thanks to the Holy Spirit, it is also the flesh of Christ.

 

And that’s really the only difference between Adoration and any other time for prayer, but it is a big difference. You literally get to sit in His spiritual and physical presence, to speak to Him and listen to Him.

 

It’s like talking on the phone with friends or family who are far away. Talking to them is great, but nothing beats actually being home and being in their presence. You might have the same conversations in person as you would on the phone, but it’s so much better to physically be around them. Or it’s sort of like having a long-distance relationship, rarely seeing your significant other, but always keeping in touch. But finally one day, always a great and much-anticipated day, he is in town and you get to go out on a date with your love. You get to see him, smell him, feel his love, energy, and spirit. And when you gaze upon him, and not just a still photograph or a blurry memory in your mind, you are reminded once again of how deep your love is, how blessed you are to know him, and how it feels to be loved by him.

 

 

And that is what Adoration is to us.

 

 

 

 

 

A few saints (and venerables) had exceptionally deep devotion to the Eucharist. Check out what a few of them had to say about it here. 

 

 

 

True Presence

One of the most difficult ideas to come to terms with in my renewed embrace of the Catholic faith (besides Confession) was the idea of the Eucharist. Growing up, we always had a rather light-hearted approach to the Eucharist: just the “bread and wine” or “juice and crackers.” I grew up in a church and community where there was no real reverence for the Eucharist. The priest just went through the motions during Mass. Everyone I knew received the Eucharist without Confession (I did not know that was a rule, even bound in Scripture: 1 Corinthians 11:27 Therefore whosoever shall eat this bread, or drink the chalice of the Lord unworthily, shall be guilty of the body and of the blood of the Lord.)—there was never a feeling of “being unworthy” to receive Him; it was just another part of the Mass. God forgive them, but I even saw my junior high/high school classmates take the host and put it in their pocket, or drink the entire chalice of wine.

 

Almost nothing truly instilled in me a sense of awe, wonderment, understanding, or love for the Eucharist, which is truly the holy body and blood of Christ Himself. It is not a mere symbol, but His true flesh and true blood.

 

Why do we believe this to be true? Well, it is clearly written in Scripture. Every Catholic should know where to find this: John 6, the Bread of Life Discourse. John chapter 6. It is a bit lengthy, so you can read the whole thing here. I have just included the key verses below:

Our ancestors ate manna in the desert, as it is written: ‘He gave them bread from heaven to eat.’” So Jesus said to them, “Amen, amen, I say to you, it was not Moses who gave the bread from heaven; my Father gives you the true bread from heaven. For the bread of God is that which comes down from heaven and gives life to the world.” (31-33)
 

Jesus said to them, “I am the bread of life; whoever comes to me will never hunger, and whoever believes in me will never thirst. (35)
 

Amen, amen, I say to you, whoever believes has eternal life. I am the bread of life. Your ancestors ate the manna in the desert, but they died; this is the bread that comes down from heaven so that one may eat it and not die. I am the living bread that came down from heaven; whoever eats this bread will live forever; and the bread that I will give is my flesh for the life of the world.” (47-51)
 

The Jews quarreled among themselves, saying, “How can this man give us [his] flesh to eat?” Jesus said to them, “Amen, amen, I say to you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you do not have life within you. Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise him on the last day. For my flesh is true food, and my blood is true drink. Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood remains in me and I in him. Just as the living Father sent me and I have life because of the Father, so also the one who feeds on me will have life because of me. This is the bread that came down from heaven. Unlike your ancestors who ate and still died, whoever eats this bread will live forever.” (52-58)
 

Then many of his disciples who were listening said, “This saying is hard; who can accept it?” Since Jesus knew that his disciples were murmuring about this, he said to them, “Does this shock you?  (60-61)
 

As a result of this, many [of] his disciples returned to their former way of life and no longer accompanied him. (66)

 

Jesus said it Himself, and we certainly do not take Jesus to be a liar. Probably one of the most important things to know here is something that we do not see in English. The original word used for “eat” which I have underlined above, is the Greek word τρώγων (trogon) which literally means to “gnaw” or to “chew.” There’s really no mistaking “gnawing” or “chewing” for something symbolic. Whereas in English we could say something like “I ate up his words” meaning “I listened,” but we don’t say, “I gnawed up his words.” That just doesn’t make sense because gnawing implies something physical.

 

We can further prove from the passage that Jesus used strong and literal words for “eat” and “drink” referring to His own flesh and blood because the Jews that He was speaking to were offended and said, “This saying is hard; who can accept it?” By Jewish Law, this would be something very “unclean” to do, so it’s no wonder that they didn’t want to hear it. But instead of Jesus saying, “Wait, come back! You misunderstood me. I didn’t mean literally eat my flesh and drink my blood! I meant it symbolically, so that you can just ‘have’ Me, My words, My Spirit, in you, without any eating (gnawing).” Jesus didn’t say that and He did not retract His statement. He just knew that people would find it difficult, and “as a result of this, many [of] His disciples returned to their former way of life and no longer accompanied Him.”

 

So are we the disciples who think this is too hard and walk away from it? Or do we believe Jesus and follow the tradition of His Apostles? (If the Apostles and first Christians did not believe this saying to literally mean eating/gnawing/chewing His flesh and blood that give eternal life, they would not have even written it that way.) If you believe Jesus’ words, there is no need to do any “mental gymnastics” to try and justify His words in other, more complicated ways. As St. Augustine said, “If you believe what you like in the Gospels, and reject what you don’t like, it is not the Gospel you believe, but yourself.”

 

I’m being a little harsh, but I will be the first to attest that coming to believe this through my complicated, overly-rational, educated mind was not easy. It is very tempting to be like the unbelieving disciples and walk away, discounting Jesus’ words. But this is because we have made ourselves too complicated. We are indeed overly rational. We are not what we are commanded by Jesus to be: like a child. Jesus told us that we have to have childlike faith. If you tell a child something, he or she does not try to complicate it. They just accept that what you say is true. So, too, should we accept Jesus' words for what He says, because of all the people to ever walk this earth, Jesus is the one person that we should never question.

For me at least, it still took time to try and "unlearn" my mind to become more childlike. I work on it every day in every aspect of my faith, but I could not do it without the help of the Holy Spirit, Who is the only means that we can come to know Jesus. (1 Corinthians 12:3 And no one can say, "Jesus is Lord," except by the Holy Spirit). It is that same Spirit that is called upon by the priest to turn the simple bread and wine into the body and blood of our Lord: "Make holy, therefore, these gifts, we pray, by sending down your Spirit upon them like the dewfall, so that they may become for us the body and blood of our Lord, Jesus Christ."

A woman in the Bible was healed by simply touching the hem of His garment because of her faith. Imagine what kind of effects His body and blood can have on us if we believe with that kind of faith! Holy Communion is a Sacrament, so it is a visible sign of an invisible grace. We might just be able to move mountains with a deep yet simple understanding that what we receive is His flesh and blood, His Spirit, and to be open to His special graces. Don't walk away from Him because it is too hard to accept, but rather pray to understand better, accept it, love it, and be thankful for it!