Is there Biblical support for NFP?

I think that most people would agree that it’s just “a Catholic thing” to teach Natural Family Planning (NFP—that is, a married sex life without any artificial contraceptives). But why is that? Why have other Christian denominations fallen away from a practice that is both reason-able and Biblical? Why do many Catholics even deny this teaching, despite the fact that it is reasonable, Biblical, and Church teaching?

 

First, let’s use a little bit of reason and common sense before we dive into the Bible. Most people, especially couples who have or want children, will agree that male and female fertility is a gift from God. I mean, really! What an amazing gift! The ability to essentially make something out of nothing, and that something happens to be a completely new, unique human infused with the God-given soul. Gift! But if those fertile days in a woman’s cycle are a gift from God, then those infertile days are a gift, too. God is the Author of creation and the Author of the laws of nature. Therefore, God Himself wrote the laws of female fertility: providing around 100 hours a month of fertility, with the rest being infertile. Phew, thank goodness! Imagine how many MORE people would be on this planet if men and women were both fertile 24/7! Yes, these infertile days are a gift indeed.

 

So when a married couple uses NFP, they are following the manual that God wrote. “To avoid conception, use these days. To achieve conception, use these days.” It’s that simple. It’s in complete cooperation both with the laws of nature by the Great Author, and with God’s will because He may just decide to give you a baby at that moment anyways. A bowed head in submission is always an open vessel to grace (think: Mary).

 

So why do people shy away from NFP? One reason is a true lack of faith, not willing to put one’s future in God’s Hands. Instead, the contracepting couple wants control. They don’t fully trust in God’s grace to always provide for whatever situation He gives. A second reason is the selfishness of the flesh. NFP requires daily communication between husband and wife, as well as a little self-control on those fertile days. Instead of practicing self-control and prudence, the contracepting couple just wants what they want when they want it. This is a selfish desire of the flesh, to make it so that each is available to each other every day without any apparent consequences, submission, or communication.

 

Regarding the selfishness of the flesh, St. Paul says:

"For those who live according to the flesh are concerned with the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the spirit with the things of the spirit. The concern of the flesh is death, but the concern of the spirit is life and peace. For the concern of the flesh is hostility toward God; it does not submit to the law of God, nor can it; and those who are in the flesh cannot please God.”  Romans 8:5-8

I think that explains well what I just said, regarding living for the flesh, lack of faith in God (and yes I have seen the NFP push turn to hostility), not submitting to the law [of nature] that God wrote, and of course in the end, going against nature is not pleasing to God.
 

St. Paul also said:

“Therefore, God handed them over to impurity through the lusts of their hearts for the mutual degradation of their bodies. They exchanged the truth of God for a lie and revered and worshiped the creature rather than the creator, who is blessed forever. Amen. Therefore, God handed them over to degrading passions. Their females exchanged natural relations for unnatural.” Romans 1:24-26

Contraceptive sex is unnatural, especially when the pill (or some other hormone) is involved, because it takes a natural bodily function (which we already said is a gift from God) and turns it backwards and mutilates it. The truth is that we are not meant to have as many babies as humanly possible, but the lie that many have come to believe is that we must go against the laws of nature to avoid it. That we must sterilize ourselves, bowing down to contraception and its power instead of the Creator of fertility/infertility and His power.

"They promise them freedom, though they themselves are slaves of corruption, for a person is a slave of whatever overcomes him." 2 Peter 2:19

People make themselves slaves to their contraception. Women set alarm clocks to take their pills right on time, make sure to never leave the house without them, order their lives around them, and thus become slaves to them. Men blame the woman for an “unexpected pregnancy” when she has not fully submitted herself to the laws of the pill. A contracepting couple’s sex life revolves around that which promises them a supposed freedom [from children, responsibility, lack of control], but the contraception itself becomes a burden and a corruption to marriage as the couple revolves their entire intimate life around it.
 
We can see that there are Bible verses that can be applied to speak against contraception, but sometimes that’s not good enough for some people. While reading through 1 Corinthians the other week, I stumbled upon one single verse which seemed to light up the page, and one I re-read constantly. This verse seems in full support of NFP, especially the Creighton Model (okay, I’m biased!) because it not only teaches you how to use NFP (how to find ‘good’ or ‘bad’ days depending on your goal), but it also teaches S.P.I.C.E. That is, it teaches you to explore, love, and nurture the Spiritual, Physical, Intellectual, Communicative/Creative, and Emotional side to your spouse and marriage. In other words, your married life isn’t just about your sex life, and NFP (Creighton Model!) teaches you to foster, all of the dimensions of your partner and vocation.
 

“Do not deprive each other, except perhaps by mutual consent for a time, to be free for prayer, but then return to one another, so that Satan may not tempt you through your lack of self-control." 1 Corinthians 7:5

 

 

1. Do not deprive each other – The Catholic Church is not prudish. The marital act, according to the Church, is beautiful, proper, and necessary. In each act, the couple consummates their marriage again and renews their vows to each other.
2. except perhaps by mutual consent for a time – mutual consent implies that essential communication about those fertile days, which may be the days that you want to “deprive each other…for a time.”
3. to be free for prayer – here’s part of that S.P.I.C.E. again. Avoiding sex doesn’t mean that the couple should sit on opposite sides of the room or watch TV until each falls asleep. Avoiding sex doesn’t mean avoiding each other. That time can be best spent by focusing on your partner or spending time for prayer and spiritual growth with your spouse.
4. but then return to one another – Again, the Church isn’t against sex. Why do people think that?
5. so that Satan may not tempt you through your lack of self-control – not having any self-control in your sex life is the by-product of the Prince of Lies. We are not the sum of our “animal instincts,” but we are human, made in the image and likeness of God, and thus with our will and His grace, we rise above to a higher level from self-denial (“..he must deny himself..”) and thus a more perfect [spiritual] union with God.

 
 
Questions? Curious about NFP? Are you trying your best to ignore God’s tugging at you to turn to NFP? I was in your shoes. Contact me. I want to help.