Don't spread it thin

I'm almost halfway through a month-long discipline right now. By the grace of God, I'm doing better than I thought I would. I thought I would feel tortured every day, but by exercising my spiritual muscles, I'm feeling stronger than my passions and stronger than the temptations that assault me.

It's the middle of November and I've been putting off all things Christmas until the first Sunday of Advent, at least.

Maybe to some people that still sounds early. To others, maybe they're wondering what's the big deal, or why am I waiting so long? But to me, it's a big deal.

You see, I'm a Christmas junkie. I love all things Christmas. Christmas baking, Christmas decorations, Christmas traditions, Christmas lights, Christmas movies, and oh my, don't get me started on how much I love Christmas music. When I was a child, Christmas was like the light at the end of the tunnel. I anxiously waited for that magical time of year. The anticipation was almost too much to handle as summer came to an end, school started, the air got chilly, fall came, and then the first snowflakes started to fly. But I'm so thankful now, that my mom made me wait for all those things that I loved. I certainly wanted to have a Christmas tree to look at over Thanksgiving dinner and I wanted total access to our Christmas music and movies, but thank you God, she did not give in. She made me wait.

Unfortunately, when I went away to college and I was under my own discipline, I started dipping my toes into all things Christmas during the month of November. I thought it was great! I listened to Christmas music for almost two straight months! I got Christmas lights up before Thanksgiving break! I was indulging in gingerbread cookies and peppermint mochas! I thought I was multiplying my Christmas joy!

But I forgot one key thing: earthly joy, the happiness that can come from the things of this world, is finite. It has its limits. It can't last forever. And as I learned year after year of loving Christmas earlier and earlier, I didn't feel that deep anticipation and catharsis of Christmas joy like I thought I would. Instead of riding a Christmas high for twice as long each year, I just divided it in half. I spread the joy thin--so thin, that Christmas morning seemed anticlimactic. Worse yet, I gave in completely to the secular view of Christmas and conceded that Christmas was "over" after Christmas morning, rather than just beginning and lasting for the next 8 days as we believe in the Catholic faith.

I literally loved Christmas to death. By giving in to my whims, enslaved by my "desires and pleasures" (Titus 3:3), bowing down to my spur-of-the-moment desires for "Christmas things" in October and November, I was taking away from the joys of the real holiday season. I was losing sight of the true meaning of Christmas, which is Christ Himself, Who alone can give infinite joy, rather than the finite joy from the world. And by bowing down to the world and my passions, I was ashamed in the presence of God.

This year, I said enough is enough. I'm reverting back to the lessons I learned as a child. Wait. Be patient. Love the anticipation rather than giving in. Christmas is taking on a new meaning again this year, that I seemed to have lost a few years back. In addition, I have a baby who will celebrate his first Christmas this year. I want to teach him the patience and discipline that my mom taught me. I want Christmas to be magical to him, too, and I don't think that can happen if I am giving in to my desires, showing him that he can have whatever he wants whenever he wants it.

It's November 18th and I have 12 more days until I can bust out my Christmas things. I can't wait!

St. Columban

Have you ever heard of St. Columban? I hadn't either before I pulled out my big book of Saints and opened to a random page. I'm glad I did. Not only did I learn about a Saint I've never heard of before, but I found an excerpt from some of his writing that really spoke to me. I hope you are just as moved. Read it slowly, and then learn more about St. Columban.

Don't consider what you are, but what you will be. What you are only lasts a moment, what you will be is eternal. Don't indulge yourself in laziness, but rather acquire in a short time what you will possess forever. Overcome your dislike for exertion in the present by thinking of the reward to come.

If the world lures you, remember that your pursuit of it is vain. What does it profit you to gaze at a shadow reflected in the water? How do you benefit from joy and happiness tasted in a dream? All dreams, no matter how long they last, are short-lived. And life's joys are like dreams in a dark night.

Awake, therefore, out of the night and seek the light so that you may see and be seen. Your life is a wheel that is ever turning and never waits for you. You must keep up with it. You have nothing on earth. And you will die as naked as you were when you were born. You have only the prospect of heaven, your inheritance, provided  you do not forfeit it.

But if you have lost it already, sell yourself to regain it. What do I mean by "sell yourself"? Sell your vices and buy life. Do you want to know what those vices are? Above all, sell pride, the root-vice, and buy humility. Then you will be like Christ who says, "Learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart" (Matthew 11:29).